That Third Space: Confessions

'To think too much is a disease.'

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Preface: When I walked past my boss today, he didn’t greet me well. Then, when I walked past him again, deliberately, he made a brief eye-contact. What did I do? Does he intend to fire me? What is going on? What does it mean? This definitely means something – think Amna, think! This has a deeper meaning…reach to its depth, just think and let your mind be the bigger boss! Think straight! But not too straight – zigzag straight! (Extract from the mind of an over thinker – not necessarily me, okay!)

As someone who has a hyperactive over thinking, over imaginative mind, I know the struggle, the burden and the mental hubbub. It’s like we find it necessary to dig out the deeper meaning in everything, no matter how miniscule. Yes, it consumes us but we can’t help it. And finally when we over analyze and reach to the deepest darkest secrets of the human behavior, that is our winning moment – ‘Eureka!’ But that’s not the end for us, we move onto our next assignment and try to figure that out. There’s no stop or pause button – it’s a constant play of our over creative minds! I know what you are thinking – that we, over thinkers, make every situation in our lives at least 100 times more complicated than it actually is! Right? Damn! And then you think we over think! Don’t over think, just read on!

The 'box' atop our bodies doesn’t ever zip up! If we ever make a mistake (even a paltry one), it is likely we end up mulling over a hundred other ways we could have handled the situation. Our brains are constantly moving at least ten steps ahead of the present/actual moment. Now where exactly are our brains, you ask? At the conclusion part of everything before it even begins. We can ‘create’ conversations in our heads even before they take place and also create possible scenarios and outcomes in different situations and run it over through our minds. This is what makes us far-sighted. We are always heedful of the warnings and the risks involved in taking steps because we've already 'seen' all the possible outcomes!!!

We’ve great fondness for replaying all the day’s events in our heads; sometimes we are stuck at one-liners musing on how we could have said it if it at all occurred to us in time.

So, you are expecting a response through email. Well, sit back and relax as this could take us forever. We write emails, we write them fast but then we keep altering the content until satisfied. After we write a response, we analyze it from a second party perspective – what if the receiver misinterprets our tone? So, it’s always better to delete it, then rewrite it, then again reread it - this time it's likely to come across as too forthcoming, so we'll delete it again. Phew! That’s a lot of work we are putting in there just to assure you guys don’t misinterpret. And it doesn’t cease here – once the mail is dispatched, we have to reread it (at least two times) and judge it from various angles as to how would it sound to the reader. Damn! There is no escape!

A book or a movie that has an ending which is open to interpretation is our favorite as it brings out our already active minds into some more furious action. This one feels exactly like the itchy tag on the back of a sweater, though. You want to get rid of the discomfort but the warmth of the sweater feels great too! Hours go into analyzing and Googling what could've been the best ending!

Now that you all know how our minds are constantly in overdrive, you must be thinking it would be simple to shut them down by taking a shuteye. Wait! Hang in there! There’s more to come! We easily lose hours once these overloaded heads hit the pillow. Just when we think we will drift off, a thought creeps in slowly and whoosh... sleep becomes the thing of the past! The thought that hits us is pored over for the rest of the night. There is something about the nighttime – the darkness and the quietude just gets to us. ♫ Go and tell, go and tell, go and tell them they're out…Pull the blinds, kill the lights, over my eyes…Oh, oh, sleep is for the weak now ♫

Since, it’s our life’s mission to find deeper meaning and clarity about everything that is going on around us, we are the pioneers of conspiracy theories. Your diction fascinates us - so much so that we spin it, turn it and twist it! We are masters at language dissection. We’ll open our phone dictionaries, scroll down to the sixth definition of it and apply it to our conversation and spend the rest of the day reeling. Aren’t we fun?

As you would already know there is a lot going on in our heads, we keep using the ‘notes’ option in our phones to make long lists and then cross them out as we complete the items. We receive great satisfaction in planning out things and visually seeing all that planning getting crossed off!! We can’t possibly handle all the rushing brain thoughts hitting our minds like the waves of the ocean, so lists are a great way to manage the over brimming imagination. Ah the attainment of perfection!

Nobody just walks by us, we are keen observers – we notice how people talk, walk and function. We can be great mimics! We get constant mental flights while in a conversation or a lecture or a meeting, because this mind doesn’t rest! Our attention span is short...very short. Over thinking also makes us highly considerate and thoughtful - because we over think, we also over feel, which in turn helps us empathize and sympathize more openly with others.

You are most possibly an over-thinker, even if you don’t think that you are. But don’t think about it too much. I know you won’t *winks*

Here’s to over thinking over thinking!

And here's a sweet little treat for your ears :)

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Subtitle: Confessions of a Coffeeholic

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"Coffee is far more than a beverage. It is an invitation to life, disguised as a cup of warm liquid. It's a trumpet wake-up call or a gentle rousing hand on your shoulder ... Coffee is an experience, an offer, a rite of passage, a good excuse to get together."

― Nichole Johnson

Note: This is a story of my love affair with coffee! And is dedicated to all my coffee addict readers. If you're someone who would choose coffee over any other drink in the world and have often been tagged as a coffee lover, a coffee addict, a coffee vampire or a coffee fanatic, then you sure understand my endless love for coffee, and the love that these little beans have provided us in return. If you just can't thank God enough for creating this heavenly and magical drink, and you sip on coffee at odd times of the day or night, get drawn to the intoxicating smell of coffee, think about coffee whether you are happy, sad, or depressed, get caffeine withdrawals if you miss a cup, and you consider it as an essential pick-me-up for groggy mornings and dopey noons, then this post is definitely dedicated to you.

For coffee addicts, the dawn of a new day cannot occur without a steaming cup of coffee. For us, mornings are synonymous with a cup of freshly-brewed coffee. Coffee is our way to kick start a day. We wake up every day motivated by our incredible morning cup. Steaming like the sunshine, this bundle of energy is an instant way to help us land back on earth. Placed right on your breakfast table or on work desk, that smoky cup waits for you to take on the world. The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans is one of the best in the world, and we simply love waking up to the smell of it. As work, for most of us, doesn't start until the intoxicating fragrance of caffeine mobilizes us, we feel miserable, sleepy, tired, and cranky until the dark roast touches our lips and the first sip goes down our system. Ah ! That first cup - that heavenly first cup of coffee! The froth, the steam, the taste, the aroma, the richness - oh my love, you're madness in a cup!

Most of our friends refer to us as their Coffee Menus, and turn to us when they want to have coffee. Whenever we are out and we can't decide on a place, we sleepwalk to the aroma and love of coffee and land in a coffee shop. Walking into a coffee shop, that aroma slowly filling the air and drenching us in the coffee thirst feels like heavens. And we've often imagined that, if coffee was a person, we'd marry it. It means so much to us! Coffee is NOT just a beverage; it could be your companion in happy and sad times. Imagine yourself sitting by the window, sipping on a hot cup of nice coffee, watching the rain outside. The windows frosty and cold, and your hand warm with the warmness of your first love - coffee !

You need to work a little to clear your schedule for that second cup right in the middle of the day. Your head buzzing with the day's work and when you see that cup coming toward you, your heart exclaims with joy, 'I love my life'! At work, the afternoons revolve around a cup of coffee with impassioned conversations with friends and colleagues. You believe that coffee breaks are the best part of the day at work. And sometimes work is only welcomed because it works as a pretext for more coffee. It also comes to your rescue at the most crucial part of the day - the afternoon crash at work! Whether you are cleaning around your room or simply enjoying a relaxed weekend in the comforts of your home, a good cup of afternoon coffee is sure to give you the ultimate go-on even on lazy Sundays.

In winters, coffee is the warmth you discover inside you. Those lonely winter nights and that cup of deep earthy flavor, while you tuck yourself in a comforter trying to decipher into the madness of the world! There's absolutely nothing better than cuddling under a blanket on a sofa or bed with a hot cup of coffee and a really good book. Or those long winter night drives with your friends (and if its raining, it’s a bonus) and coffee as your mate. In summers, it is the only not-cold thing you crave for. And it often brings to my mind Shakespeare's' 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, thou art more lovely and more temperate…' (was that dark lady a cup of coffee?). Coffee has always been a faithful companion for anyone pulling an all-nighter for an exam or pending office work. It also works miracle to lift your mood up!

If you're a coffee lover, chances are you have a huge collection of coffee mugs of all colors, shapes, and sizes, and wacky quotes on them too. And you hold them sacred because they hold the magic potion for you.

The third cup of coffee comes right before all shuts down and darkness prevails. This has a strange effect - it lulls you to sleep. And you secretly whisper to your cup, are you the same little magic cup that will wake me up in the morning?' And it whispers back (but only a few could hear) 'Yes, till eternity!' And you sleep satisfied and contented with the thought that you live in a world where there is coffee.

Time to pour my third one, as I go off to sleep! Have a coffee night!

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“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”
― Criss Jami

To begin with, introverts are not anti-people or under-confident or rude or whatever. I am here to play voice for my kind and make a few things straight. Now, something about who we are! Well, we are those you see standing awkwardly and quietly at parties, making failed efforts to contribute to conversations. Also, those you see in libraries sitting alone for hours absorbed in books. Those you sit next to during flights, who wouldn't waste another second before they earplug themselves to shut any possibility for you to interact with them. We are those who ditch you every time you include us in a weekend out plan. Also, one of those at workplaces, you think are totally dumb, deaf and lackluster, until one day you realize they are wonder men or women doing incredible things and you are awestruck.

Peeps!! If we seem withdrawn, it isn't because we don't know what you're talking about, we simply choose not to add up anything to the discussion because most likely we are disinterested. Since, most of the times we are completely consumed by the inner world of our own, we often fail to find the right words while making a conversation with the outside world, so we think it better to keep mum. This phenomenon of 'word searching' is a challenge. It works like a 'writer's block', we have a words' block instead - a state which leaves us tongue-tied, and/or even tongue-tired. Another reason could be that we are probably in the middle of a deep thought process and would enlighten you with a brainwave very soon. Multi-tasking is what we loathe. We like to focus on one thing at a time and give it the purity of our attention, otherwise we wouldn't enjoy. So sshhh !!!

We can surprise you by being very talkative and animated if we really like you. And that mostly comes out in one to one conversations, where focus is solely on one person at a time.

Being shy is not an essential introvert trait. Some of the best motivational speakers in the world are introverts - so it is not a general rule for us to be shy. If we master the art of 'uttering' words, we could climb up the stage and conquer our audience in no time.

We hate small talk, so expect none from us; it is considered phony. The world is already a very noisy place and to make more noise merely for small talk is not our style. We would rather like to indulge in deep conversations that include the realities of life and the philosophy of love, for instance. That way we feel more connected to the human race. Small talks have no place in our lives. So, cut it, please.

What drains us the most? Socializing - even if we were having the time of our life, we would definitely want to take a long nap after socializing because it just sucks the energy out of us. After having a long week at work or a busy weekend, we would want to recharge our batteries by being alone and recovering from the people-filled time. This 'exciting' period will be spent thinking and reflecting in a calm environment.

For us, every second of every minute of every hour of every day that is spent networking is completely wasted. Networking is nightmare!!! When we tell you we cannot be a part of your plan on a weekend night, that's probably because we've plans of our own. We're peopled out on weekends because every weekend spent with people is marked as a weekday in our mental calendar. Talking about our plans, we are getting into our PJs, eating a whole bucket of ice cream and surfing the internet, watching movies, listening to music, reading a book and just wrapping up in bed pondering over life. Ahhh !! A weekend well spent !! By the way, even though we said we couldn't join you, we would still appreciate if you invite us the next time there is a plan. We might say no again…but we like to feel accepted and included. So, thank you.

Don't even ask us to join you to a concert. Why in the heaven would anyone want to go to a place so noisy, so jam-packed with loud people and with limitations to facilitate deep thinking? We don't get that, extros !!!

If you happen to be someone with extra level of energy, which is constantly oozing out through your highly charged nonstop chattering, we would have to draw a lot of strength from 'somewhere' (I don't know where) to spend time with you. It just amazes us to see how any living being could have so much vigor and vitality to be a social butterfly.

We love spending time with ourselves, however, the feeling of solitude can turn into loneliness. At that point of time, we are thankful to our friends who take the pains of dragging us out of our muted bubbles. It is good to breathe out and very thrilling to get back into it, once we are done with the out-of-the-bubble experience.

Our need for space is due to the fact that we want no interruption, and absolutely no invasion of our privacy during 'thinking through things' - while taking a decision, we weigh pros and cons (not as loudly or vocally as the extroverts), so we need space to take vital decisions concerning our lives.

Remember, all this time while we are quietly listening to everyone, we are actually making close observations and taking mental notes of people and situations. We are more intuitive than your mind could ever imagine. Conclusion - never underestimate that introvert you often tag as loner, shy, rude, boring and whatnot.

Phew !!! So. Much. Talking. Now I need a nap. Until next time, readers !!!

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